The manliest thing that a guy can do is be a good husband and father. That is why I decided to give Leigha a break. For an entire week, I did all of the errands and chores. I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, washed dishes and even let out the dog. While Dude didn’t care who hooked him up to his leash, it turns out that it was difficult for Leigha to sit there and do nothing. I repeatedly cut her off or stopped her from doing extra work. I intended to give her a week where she didn’t have to worry about doing any of those annoying things that everybody hates, but we all have to do it anyways. Every Saturday night, Leigha watches the kids by herself while I work. Once a month she does this on both Friday and Saturday. I figured that it was the least that I could do by giving her an entire week.
The only stipulation that I had made was that the cleaning list had to be agreed upon before the week. That way, I knew exactly how to plan out my week and not be bombarded with new projects every day.
“Today I want you to clean out the garage. Tomorrow, I want to wash the kitchen floors. Oh! How about you organize my closet for me, too!” Yeah right. Actually, these aren’t things that she would say to me, but they would be on a to-do list for her.
This is what Monday looked like for me. I woke up at and took a shower and ate breakfast trying not to wake anybody. Then I worked a ten hour day. I picked up the kids from daycare. Got home and made supper. While the kids ate, I changed my shoes and ran a mile. When I got back, the kids were finishing up, so I washed their hands and faces.
“I want mommy to wash my hands,” Emery tells me. It is normal for children to pick one parent to do everything for them. Unfortunately for me, I am not yet that parent. I don’t know how or why they picked Leigha, but they did. We are equally nurturing, and while I am more eager to play, Leigha is quick to offer up quiet projects. We are actively involved with our children and parent as a team. The kids can’t pull those “mom said” versus “dad said” tricks on us (yet). We go along with what the other parents have told them, even if we don’t necessarily agree. We move out of earshot and discuss these moments, debating if we should let them have a popsicle after they take their bath or if they need a jacket on when they go outside.
“You know what guys? You can have that popsicle, after all.” I am perfectly willing and able to rub Emery’s back before she goes to bed or gets Tate a thing of juice, but some times they just freak out when it is me doing the task, and not their mommy. This is hard on both Leigha and me. I really want to help, but often times it creates more chaos than it is worth fighting. Plus this creates more work for Leigha. That was one of the reasons for the week off.
“Emery, it’s Daddy’s turn. Do you want to wash it in the bathroom or the kitchen?”
“I want Mommy to do it!” she screams.
“Nope, this week it is always Daddy’s turn.”
After the kids were cleaned, we played. As we played, I sneaked away and ate my food in turns. Then it was bedtime. Brush teeth, read a book, lay down. Then I washed the dishes that I had used to cook. As the house fells quiet with the kids asleep, I can’t help but follow closely behind.
I didn’t need a whole week to be reminded of everything that Leigha does. I was glad that I didn’t have to do everything all of the time. I don’t know how single parents do it. I suppose that if you don’t have any other options, you just do it.
In our bedroom, Leigha fell asleep waiting for me. This was a fairly common occurrence, once she lies down. I crawled into bed next to her, kissed her on the cheek. Then, like every single night, I told her that I loved her and went to sleep myself.
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