Childish Letters From An Adult

One day, when I was looking for an empty folder that I could store one of the many recipes that I had been printing off for the Food Blog, I came across a folder that had some printouts of some things that I had written back in 1999. They were some crazy letters that were inspired by a series of 'Nut' books. In these books, a guy wrote a bunch of crazy letters to business that were funny to read. What was even better was the responses from these companies that had to treat them seriously. I thought that these were really funny and it inspired me to write a few letters of my own. I also addressed all of these letters from Dirk Williams. My thought was that not only was this a funny name, it was also a way that I could easily identify a response for one of these letters when it came in the mail. My first letter is as follows:

October 20, 1999

Metro Transit Authority
1100 Metro Lane
Des Moines, IA
50309

Dear Sir or Madam,

I have just recently moved to the Des Moines area, and I would like to get some more information about its busing system. I have a situation that i would like to address to you, and find a way to work around it.

A few years ago, I was involved in a car accident in which both of my arms had to be amputated. This poses a problem for many day-to-day operations, such as writing this letter. (I happen to have a loving wife that is always willing to do a little secretarial work for me.) This inconvenience unfortunately makes driving an impossibility, forcing me to use public transportation. I do not mind using the buses; in fact I find it quite relaxing. My problem is this:

When riding on a bus, it is impossible to avoid the stop-and-go driving. This is fine, except when stops are made too quickly. This many times causes a person to fall off balance, leaving them helpless to the laws of motion. Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to grab a pole, or put my hand down to stabilize myself.

I do not believe that it is necessary to use the paratransit bus, because of my ease of mobility, perhaps all I need is a seat belt or strap, and some help getting it attached. I have always heard that the MTA goes out of its way to please its passengers, and any help would be appreciated.

Thank you, MTA for getting back to me on this. I appreciate any concern you can give me in this area. Also...do you have yearly passes? If so, how much do the cost, and is it possible to get a string or lanyard to hang my pass on?

Sincerely,



Dirk Williams

and here was their response:

Dear Dirk,

I want to thank you for your letter. I hope we continue to live up to your kind words. I want you to know that we will be glad to assist you in anyway we can. I hope that each ride aboard the MTA is a positive experience.

I would like to offer some suggestions that could help with the stop and go motion as you ride the bus. The front side facing seats, just as you enter the bus could prove to help with this problem. The panel directly behind the driver could be used to brace yourself against. The seat by the front door would offer the same results. There is a pole at both locations, which extends from the floor to the ceiling that you could wrap your leg around in order to feel more secure. Also, if you have a safety belt or strap, the driver would be glad to help you get them attached. All you need to do is ask the driver for assistance.

We do not offer a yearly pass, only a monthly pass for $30.00 and weekly pass for $8.00. Also, we do not offer a pass holder as you described. However, I have enclosed an MTA bus pass holder in case this will help.

If you have any questions, please feel free to call me at 283-8111. Also, if you are having any problem getting the assistance you need from any driver, please let me know. 

Sincerely,

Jim Tishim

Transportation Manager.

While the pass holder was a nice thought, there wasn't a hole hole to use this in a lanyard. Making it pretty pointless for a double amputee.