30 Days Of Thanks: Tyree (Cousin)

Dear Tyree,

           

            They say that people shouldn’t have a favorite child or sibling, but there is no such saying for cousins. You are and always have been my favorite cousin. My first memory with you is when we were at Aunt Linda’s for some get-together and we were taking turns pushing the other down the stairs. I remember thinking that it was a lot of fun at the time. But it is one of those moments that you look back on and are equally confused about the fun and the absolute and total lack of parental control.

            As a kid, I remember being jealous of all the video games that you had. I would come over to your house and we would play games all night long. And by “we” I mean that I would play them until three o’clock in the morning while you fell asleep because you had lost interest hours before. Then, occasionally, you would have an asthma attack to make the night interesting.

            I would like to thank you for all of those mornings that you would drive us around illegally with your school permit as we delivered newspapers. It was the same thing every day. You would come wake me up by knocking on my bedroom window. Then you would pee on the ground as you talked to me. Classy. I guess you don’t know what to expect for a 14/15 year old driving around his older cousin at an hour that nobody should be awake. I remember when we added a second route and your dad would drive us around. He would start singing songs about the marines at the top of his lungs only to start falling asleep midsentence and mid-steering. We would have to punch him in the arm and grab the wheel. He was scarier than the ghetto neighborhoods that we were running through.

            You are the one and only person to intentionally shoot me with a firearm. It was only a BB gun, but those really gave me some significant welts. Thanks for that. Didn’t you ever watch a Christmas Story? You could have put my eye out, kid.

            Thanks for letting me perform your wedding ceremony. I think that we had a lot more fun with it than the people that were watching it. I am willing to accept that I might be as funny as I think that I am. Or it could be that nobody else understood that it was supposed to be like a roast. But, I’m glad that you guys had fun, which is how you should start your marriage.

Love,

Adam