30 Days Of Thanks:Brett

Dear Brett,

            The jig is up, buddy; I found you. Ten years ago, we met at work and starting hanging out all the time. Eight years ago, we became roommates. Six years ago, you were one of my groomsmen. Five years ago, you disappeared, without contact. Your telephone number was recycled (I assume) to “Rainbow Productions”, which I can only assume is a gay porno production studio. Three and a half years ago, you popped up at my work and we met for breakfast. I haven’t seen you since then.

            I have never met anybody that is as universally like as you. My guess is that you spent so much time in high school with the body of an elementary school kid, that you subconsciously developed a survival method of charisma. You were that cool little brother. Then you started taking those grown hormones and became a real boy.

            I remember when you started to hang out with Josh and myself. The three of us immediately clicked. This didn’t happen very much because people would usually get tired of our built-in years of inside jokes. You never seemed to care. You just joined in and laughed with us. It seemed like the three of us were constantly trying to one-up each other. Plus, you were always willing to do those things that Josh and I weren’t. “Hey, go tell that girl that you’re hung like an ant.” It was amazing every time. You would say something absolutely insane or stupid with enough confidence that people would laugh.

            Do you realize that we are nearly bi-coastal vacationers together? I don’t know if I should apologize for getting us such a crappy hotel room so far outside New Orleans that it was discouraging for us to go into the city sometimes. Or that you go so worked up about the murder statistics that you were filled with anxiety when we would walk down dark streets and alleyways. At least we met Juan “like a friend, like a father” the bartender who sold us a gallon of Margarita. Bonkers. I’m sorry that you got upset with the driving while you were sleeping. I swear to you that we were avoiding another car. Really.

            Thanks for letting us come to visit you in California. It was a rare trip that was both fun and relaxing. Except the fact that I lost my wallet on day one. It was a great mixture of hiking, sightseeing and videogames. Now that I’m a parent, I don’t foresee a vacation like that for quite some time. Your was the last address for me to track down and I really am looking forward to hearing back from you.

Love,

Adam